Monday, June 2, 2008

Twitchers and ThunderCats


Anyone who visits the website more than 5x daily. Not there is anything wrong with this website because it provides a valuable source of current endurance sports related news that cannot be found in one place anywhere else on the internet. However, the problem I have is with a number of key qualities that seem to be personified by these twitchers. These people exemplify what is wrong with today's triathlon. No longer is triathlon or any endurance sport for that matter about personal fitness, quiet competition or accomplishment. Rather these twitchers bring a materialistic, narcissism to the start line of all the races they sign up for. It appears to me that it is more about who has the best bike, the hardest race schedule or the most worthless accomplishments. Since when did listing our race results become a prerequisite for entering into a race? These twitchers bring an arrogance that is not needed in our beloved sport. They look down on those with lower quality gear, precieved less fitness or triathlon newbies. We all need to remember that we all started somewhere. No one came right out riding the best gear or splitting a course record in the first race they entered. It drives me crazy to show up the day before a race and see people riding their disk wheels around in the parking lot or walking up to the packet pickup wearing their aero helmets and racing flats. It is cool to have the good gear. The joy of competition should be on our minds before attempting to purchase the newest, lightest water bottle. Twitchers stop critiquing each other's positions or showing off your rides! Loose 25 pounds first, see how that helps you out on the race course before you decide to drop an additional two grand on a new break lever. HTFU is not a battle cry! Shut up and train, let the results do the talking for themselves.


Thundercats are an indigenous species of power riders that enjoy slightly rolling hills and flat grounds. They are at home amongst other Thundercats and get extremely aggressive when passed by smaller riders or Twitchers. They have massive quads and calf muscles and huge upper bodies. Thundercats typically have hairless legs but a grizzly chest and furry back. They ride in packs, it is very rare to see a Thundercat on its own separated from the herd. Like twitchers they always have the latest, greatest, lightest gear. Thundercats cannot climb hills, mountains or stairs. When racing Thundercats will typically be last out of the water, first off the bike and finish dead last on the run. Thundercats are most known for their ability to push a gear of 60rpm for any distance. Unlike Twitchers, Thundercats will not wear their racing flats to packet pickup. They will, however, wear their aero helmets down to the swim start. Thundercats are nicer than Twitchers because instead of going back to making excuses at the end of a race about their overall placing a Thundercat will belly up to the bar and knock back a few cold ones before clearing out their transition area. Thundercats are almost always male however on rare occasions a female Thundercat can be spotted.

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